Do I Believe in Marriage? No.

Not in the traditional sense.

Not in the “till death do us part” agreement that binds two people on paper but forgets to bind their souls.

I don’t believe in the idea that marriage is a contract - something to be secured, maintained and endured. I believe marriage is something far deeper. It’s a choice made in the quiet moments.

A devotion that exists beyond vows and signatures.

Marriage, in its truest sense - is not for everyone.

To me, marriage is when two people become witnesses - not just to the grand milestones, but to the everyday micro-decisions that shape their lives. It’s seeing each other in both the light and the shadows. It’s watching your partner grow, shift, stumble, and rise, while offering the same reflection in return.

It’s not about holding the other person accountable to a legal promise. It’s holding space for them to become the most honest version of themselves. And when difficulties arise , as they always will - it’s about standing side by side, treating the problem as something you face together, rather than turning against each other.

That is marriage. With or without the papers.

And if you’ve known that kind of presence, that kind of witnessing, you’re already married to that person in a way no law could define.

But if you’ve ever navigated your hardest days alone - while the person you’re contractually tied to remains absent, disconnected - then what remains is not a marriage. It’s simply an arrangement.

Look around. You’ll see it everywhere. People stuck in relationships that exist only on paper. Bound by duty, routine, or fear, not by choice.

And yet, we romanticize the wedding day. We agonize over the guest list, the flowers, the venue, the cake. But here’s a question .. have you ever planned for your marriage as carefully as you planned for your wedding?

Because there’s a difference, isn’t there?

A wedding is a moment.

A marriage is a lifetime of moments.

But before you even stand before another person, promising your forever ~ have you stood before yourself?

Because if you haven’t witnessed yourself first - your desires, your shadows, your dreams - you’ll inevitably ask your partner to do it for you. And no one can hold that responsibility for long.

Excuses

(But life gets busy, doesn’t it?

Careers demand. Responsibilities pile up. Days blur into weeks, and the world constantly pulls us in every direction. It’s easy to say that’s why we drift. Why we forget to witness each other.

And yet - isn’t that just an excuse?

Because when we truly want to be in a partnership, we don’t need perfect timing, cleared schedules, or the absence of stress. We just need one reason. One reason to show up, to listen, to lean in.

But when we no longer want to be there - really be there - the reasons flip. Suddenly, we can generate a million excuses. The calendar is too full. The career is too demanding. The exhaustion is too much. That’s human nature.

And maybe that’s the hardest truth of all.

The bottom line?

Do you want to be in this partnership 100% - or not?

No half-hearted presence. No love on autopilot. No “maybe” where “yes” is required. Because the most meaningful partnerships aren’t built from convenience. They’re built from willingness.

And if that willingness isn’t there?

No certificate, no ring, no words will make it so.)

Marriage isn’t about comfort or convenience.

It’s about two whole people, standing side by side. Seeing each other. Witnessing. Choosing.

And the most profound choice you can make?

To witness yourself first.

If you are alone .. are in separation or just lonely - become your own archeologist - dig up parts of yourself that you lost, rediscover yourself gently - find out what you like & don't like.. what are your non - negiotables now?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Witness Yourself (The words are mine but concept is not my own. It feels relevant, therefore sharing this)

We crave someone to witness our joy.

Our pain.

Our longings.

Our evolution.

Our sensuality.

Our playfulness.

We don't just want love.

We want to be seen.

And society knows this.

This is why you're told:

Find someone.

Secure your love.

Get married.

Have children.

Settle down.

Build a life.

Because that's just how it is.

No one asks...have you learned to witness yourself first?

If you don't witness yourself...

You will yearn.

You will chase.

You will beg.

You will settle.

Not for love.

But for visibility.

You will crave someone to validate your existence.

First, witness yourself.

Witness your own longings.

Witness your own beauty.

Witness your own depths.

Your own sensuality.

Your own mind.

Because if you don't...

You will forever ask others to do it for you.

You will hand that sacred work to someone else.

And they will fumble it. Every. Single. Time.

When you become your own witness...

You raise the standard.

You shift your energy.

And those who come to witness you now will have no choice but to rise to the level of awareness you hold.

No more chasing.

Only a meeting of equals.

And yet...

No one tells you this.

Because they haven't done it themselves.

Because it disrupts tradition.

Because it threatens the idea of love as need.

But you are here to break this generational cycle.

To wake up.

To roar.

To rise.

Love isn't just about being witnessed.

It is about knowing yourself so fully that whoever enters your space sees you clearly - because you have already seen yourself.

Everyone will try to rush you into arrangements of love.

But first, stand still.. if you haven't already.

Become your own witness.

Much love,

Savi